I always talk about why you should be constantly looking to grow, and these are one of those areas that we, men, do not have a lot of opportunities for. Finding emotional support groups for men in the divorce category are rarities. Men are only now realizing we have been bottling up our emotions for too long, but then again, there are still probably those that are reading this, and will take it to their graves. Some just will, and it’s no way to live.
I tried looking up local divorce groups in my area and I live in a pretty big city (Toronto) where we make up close to twenty percent of the population here in Canada, and there’s a whopping (you ready for it?)…one! And I’ve been to it. It’s great…if you’re looking to get legal advice. BUT not if you’re looking to grow and become a better man, a better father, and to reach new heights in your life.
And I say this out of no disrespect to the community they have built. It has its purpose. Legal advice is critical. In fact, a lot of the help that men ask for during their divorce is specifically that. I think it’s pretty frequent that people are always looking for a cheap divorce, or a do it yourself divorce, and trying to save money when times are tough and so they need that advice; it’s critical and very much needed.
I mean, a divorce attorney nowadays, it’s in their best interest to get what their client wants, and if there’s a blood sucking person at the other end filled with bitterness, revenge, and hate, you can bet your patootie that divorce lawyer will be trying to go after everything, which can complicate things. That relationship, however, everyone seems to win. The lawyer gets paid more for elongating things, and the client leaves satisfied, usually in the favor of the mother, as is the case these days.
It’s not to say that we men, aren’t winning our battles in the courtroom. We are, it’s just, at a very sparse and steady rate.
So that’s why this process can make things really bad. It destroys the fabric of that family. It tears apart any of the wholeness that it took to create that. There are far too many cases (non-extreme) to go over and bring up where this occurs. Broken wishes, dreams, and homes everywhere. The amount of step-families have outdone normal families. It’s complete pandemonium. People are afraid to have kids, they’re afraid to get married and have big families. Things just aren’t what it used to be, except for maybe, well, the clothes…just different era. I’m just waiting to cringe when the bell bottoms come back.
Regardless, it’s basically flipping a coin nowadays, with the divorce rate hovering at about 50%.
That is why, having divorce support groups for men are critical. It’s absolutely necessary. Reading about the journey, arming yourself with knowledge, having key action steps, and then when you feel like you’re having a breakdown, the men step up for you. They offer you words of encouragement. Where else are you going to get that? It feels so much better because it’s coming from men who have walked that path already. We’ve been there. We know how it feels.
We all too often forget how easy it is to block ourselves off from emotions too, so it’s important to catch yourself and not let that happen, and let loose and be honest and vulnerable with yourself and with those around you.
It’s the only way you’re going to grow. It’s the only way you’re going to feel liberated so you can let go and start fresh.
I’m telling you, you need that, otherwise you are just throwing your life away. Your soul will carry those burdens around and it’ll imprison your happiness.
So make sure to join up. I run a divorce support group. I help men get to the next level in life. It is where we set the standards of happiness so we can bring others joy, and be of service to humanity. That is the elixir to a long life on this earth.
If you’re wanting to follow the journey make sure you are subscribed the podcast, and follow me on IG.